GUIDANCE NEWS
At this time of year, sports teams are in full swing, and parents and teachers need to deal with issues around competition. In our society, competition is a part of life, and it can affect children’s development in both positive and negative ways. How adults handle kids’ competitive situations can make the difference.
School-aged children want to outperform their peers. They begin to judge the outcome of events in self-evaluative terms, which has implications for their self-concept. When the emphasis is on abilities, skills and winning, instead of belonging, participation, and fun, problems can start. Some kids especially those who have low self-esteem or are very anxious, are more vulnerable to the negative effects ofcompetition and may need to be monitored carefully.
Inappropriate or excessive competition can be detrimental to all children. Here are some things to watch out for:
n Whenkids develop superior or self-centered attitudes
n When achild’s self-worth becomes linked to talents and winning
n When winning becomes more important than how the game is played
n Whenthe activity stops being fun
n Whenthe focus is more on feelings than strategies
n Whenchildren show nervousness or physical complaints (like stomach aches) before or after events.
Here are some things parents can do to make sure that competition is fun, encourages growth and skills, participation and belonging:
n Avoidcomparisons with siblings, classmates, or even yourselves as children
n Don’tmake love or approval dependent on winning.
n Don’tremain silent or avoid the children after a loss. Don’t blame or punish
n Empathize and encourage your child to understand loss and learn from it.
n Monitor formal contests to make sure that the children’s well-being takes precedence over winning
n Avoidu sing language that reinforces competitive attitudes.
n Cheer and clap for children who try hard, even if they’re on their other team. You’ll teach your child to be gracious.
n BE AGOOD SPORT YOURSELF AND HAVE FUN!
From“Children & Competition” by oris Benson, National Association of School Psychologists
| 